Changes

So I've decided to try and let a little of the writer in me out and try this blogging thing.  My life has been constantly changing over the last few years.  The first big change came when I decided to go back to school, graduated with a Bachelor's in Social Work and completely changed careers.  This was the first big leap of faith when I decided to completely trust God that this was what He wanted and that He would take care of the rest.  And HE HAS! 

That was when I first really heard the Lord calling me back to Him.  I hadn't stepped foot in a church in more than a decade at the time.  I had never stopped believing, just stopped living it.  It is not something I am proud of in the slightest.  I all but abandoned God, yet He did not abandon me.

It's been about 2 years since I got back involved in a church.  I am grateful to my current church because it was what got me back in the game so to speak.  I went there because I knew people and because I knew people I felt compelled to go back and keep giving it a chance, even when I really wasn't feeling it.  I did not feel as though I belonged.  And in a lot of ways I still don't.  I knew God was calling me back to Him and I really wanted it to work.  I have come to love the people here but that took much more time than it should have. If I had not already known people I very well may have dropped out of that life again, convincing myself that I could have a relationship with God without being involved in His church.  Isn't it amazing how God knows just what we need?

I now find myself at a new crossroads.  I feel God leading me toward new and great things.  Things that may not continue to include this church, which excites and saddens me at the same time.  There are some people that hold very special places in my heart.  But I am sooooo happy to think of what these changes might bring!  New relationships, possibly the closer relationships and/or mentors that I've so been praying for.  Change is scary though.  Terrifying actually.  This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.  But I am ready, willing, terrified and ecstatic to see what God has in store and am prayerfully awaiting His surely awesome plan!