Beyond

Beyond the pain and the tears, beyond the anger and the fear there is joy. Joy that comes from loving these smiling faces much more than I even love myself. I would give anything for these faces right up to my very own life. I love them like they are my own, even though in reality they are not. For God has not seen fit to make them mine. Some of them live lives in houses that are at times hell on earth. They live with people who are supposed to be their safe place but instead they tear them down and show them the underbelly of life on this earth. I take great joy in pouring everything I can into their little lives. Showing them Jesus and the way to live a life that is not centered on this earth and all of it's entrapments. A life that does not revolve around substances that drown out the negative voices in ones own head and help them push down their own despair. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much I want to rebel and say "No God I just can't do it anymore!". One smile, one hug, one glimpse of the foothold Jesus is getting in their little lives is enough. Enough for me to see beyond myself, beyond the pain and into the love and grace of Him- the only thing that counts.

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